My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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