And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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