you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
