i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
