what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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