8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
