you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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