Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
