she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
