Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
so much tequila, so little girl.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
