What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
