dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
