There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
