Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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