Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
