It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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