you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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