Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
