I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
