do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
