You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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