This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
