Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
