Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
