Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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