So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
