its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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