Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
