Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
