it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
