I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
