im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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