Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
