You really coming over, don't trick.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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