super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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