Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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