You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
