if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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