You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
