I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
