I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
