yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There are leaves in my underwear?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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