Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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