Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
