Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Randomize
