i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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