just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
