I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
