sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
