Im at strip club and am horny
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
