Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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