What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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