Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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