What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
