i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How's work?
Spinning.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
