You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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